It's time to get specific, without getting specific.

How long are we going to keep secrets for? We assume that they'll come out eventually, but you can never be sure. There's definitely no guarantee, even if you want one.
I've discovered that sometimes you have to decide whether things are worth taking a risk over What's hard is that when you think of taking a risk you usually imagine it working out in your favour, although alot of the time that's not the case. So is it /really/ worth taking the risk over?
There is a large possibility that nothing will ever come of it.
I think I made that decision a long time ago, and I'm sticking to it.

I seem to be lacking words alot lately, which may be the root of the problem.
It's so easy to assume that what you want is understood by more than just yourself. But how can it be unless you find the words? If you need to hear something then it would seem you have to make that apparent.
Except that's not an option, it's never an option
Or maybe it is, and I'm just not willing to accept that yet

Only time can ever tell,
but in the meantime I'm perfectly fine with being distracted. It's a good system I have going on here, and one that could work for awhile. Just keep me hanging on by a little bit, deal?
I like feeling safe
And I like taking a risk knowing I'm safe in taking it

Funny how I seem to find out information after the time period that it could have had an affect on me. Less decisions to make I suppose, and now more secrets. Where to draw the line..
Nevertheless, these next few months, and especially this next month, is going to be amazing

89, just thought you should know.

suffice it to say,
we're leaving things unsaid


r o l l e r c o a s t e r


what happens when an indecisive person makes a decision that they can't help but make?
it scares me.
not the whole making the decision part, but it being unavoidable in general.
and trying to convince yourself otherwise seems like the only option,
until you realize that it's impossible to do,
and the decision was ultimately inevitable.
why is it that things can be so out of your control

heart over mind is what this is

and then we get our hopes up
and realize it
so then we try not to
so we think about not getting our hopes up
and that only makes us think about it more
which gets our hopes up even more
...vicious circle

please,
just
say
it

i hope something exciting happens tomorrow,
stop thinking about it
stop thinking about it

And not to say a thing tonight.

smiles all around

i love days like this,
and yes i realize most people are in a weird funk when they blog which allows for very profound writing, and ultimately undecipherable writing.
However, I don't expect that kind of a mood to come very soon, things are good. So this is going to have to be a happy blog,
deal.

pussy cat dolls may be slightly slutty (understatement of the year?),
but they have some good concepts going on in their songs.. plus they're great to dance to.
(girls you all know you turn on 'don't ya' and dance around in your room in your underwear)
so, here's a little inspiration for all the ladies.
here's what you need to listen to:
I Don't Need A Man - Pussy Cat Dolls


i finished a puzzle,
finally.









thank you to africa for the help.. well.. alot of help to be honest,
i'm not very good at puzzles (from lack of experience, or just lack of talent perhaps)
but i finished it.
i'm quite proud of my accomplishment.


risks are hard to take
seems like they would be easy,
especially when you go over it in your head time and time again
and then you snap back to reality and realize 'when would i ever get up the nerve to do that'
i'm hoping that i do,
sometime
timing is everything i suppose
i think we all have bad timing,
how promising
well, here's hoping that i get up the nerve



it's the little things that matter,
and you've got that down pat.

love is a risky business

Reading between the lines can be very challenging.
I try not to do it, but let's be honest here.. we all do. And - sometimes - it's necessary. Sometimes it can also just make things alot more complicated than was ever needed.
Not knowing things is frustrating.


I definitely had one of those days a little while ago where everything seems perfect. So many things could go wrong during the day, but when you're falling asleep you're still convinced that the entire day went your way. You even get the perfect sleep.
(I'm happy)
You wouldn't think being happy would be an accomplishment, kind of is though. Especially with what it relates to.
Hm.


Ranting is great, especially when few people know what you're referring to.
Mandie is not, in fact, going crazy.. no she does have her reasons, very good ones in fact, to be rambling like a mindless idiot.
And now she's talking about herself in the third person..
Great.

(Jackie puts Tim Hortons cup to her ear)
"Hey Mandie, I can hear the ocean!"
Mmhm.

So, why is it that I can look at everyone else and tell right off the bat who they like?
And then when it comes to me, I'm apparently completely oblivious?
I'd like some answers - because that's how i work.
I hate unanswered/unanswerable questions.
And i seem to ask alot of them.


Why is John Mayer dating Jessica Simpson?


Smiles give everything away.
I must stop having a face that shows whatever I'm feeling.
Or maybe it's a good thing?


you kind of make my heart skip a beat.

x = unknown.

I am incredibly frustrated with math at this point.
I'm going into the arts, so why the heck do I need to consistently stress myself out with this subject? argh.
Life was so much easier in grade 8 when half of the math class consisted of playing around the world. I was amazing at that game. I miss it. Perhaps I'll plot to convince Mr. Templeton to scratch the Math Test tomorrow, and play around the world instead. Hooray for flashcards.

So, seeing as I have a bit of an inspiration to rant at this point, I think I'll just go with it.
First of all, msn is wrecking my typing skills. I now have to backspace and write "i" as "I" everytime I'm typing something that is actually of any substance, since msn destroys all existence of capital letters. At least I still spell words right.. if anyone still writes cool as 'kool' or even worse 'kewl', please stop doing so as of now. Trust me, it's for your own best interest, and for that of my sanity.

Destiny. Is there such a thing? Is it actually possible to have a person who you are destined to end up with, and if so, is it always the case that you will end up with them? I'd like to think so - I think.
They say that 'you are in control of your own destiny'. But doesn't that contradict itself in all entirety? Destiny is defined as "the inevitable" (yes I know, I'm a nerd), so how can we control the inevitable?
Secondly, if you are destined to be with someone, does that mean that they will be the person you love?

Relationships are a complete mystery.


Time to make a list.
Life goals perhaps? They will be random. Consider yourself warned.

go skinny dipping
produce a record
star in a popular film
win an oscar
meet adam brody
live in a dorm
finally find a band that andie hasn't already heard of, ugh
see a boy cry
learn to be mean when needed
ride a horse
take a road trip with jessica
finally watch casablanca
have the perfect day
go to europe
adopt a little girl from china
do new years multiple times in one night by flying around the world
sit on my roof with andie and watch stars
complete university
get married
get a bunny - name him waffles
get a teddy bear from a boy
buy a little red dress
jump into a pool with all my clothes on



I'm sure the list will continue.



I like mascara.

everything is antiquated.

So, I now have a blog.
I can't decide whether or not this is a good thing.

First of all, I've discoverd that the 'would you rather' game passes alot of time when you're stuck in a car for..what was it..7 and a half hours? Although my dad still hasn't decided between Ellen or Oprah, I think the game was a success. And I'm incredibly surprised that I have not yet run out of things to talk about with Jess and Krista, considering I was with them for 20 hours straight?

Lately I've definately gotten back into the habit of making pro-con lists. Mock if you like, but I make them for everything. Wierd thing is..I can't decide if they actually help or not. I just keep making them, ah.

I have a question, do dreams actually mean something? Or are they just completely random? Answers, please.

Well, only two days til a March break full of movie nights, watching the OC, a concert, shopping, and wishing I was someplace warm.
And tomorrow I have to do my audition, scared? Yes.

I want a thunderstorm.